Is there anyone pyschic who can clue me in to why I am continuously alone?
John First Name S Asked: Is there anyone pyschic who can clue me in to why I am continuously alone?
I am talented
Intelligent
Serious about things I do
Have a great sense of humor
And yet, I've reached out to people as friends, tried to date, tried to reach out and give my number to people I'm interested in, put myself on the line at auditions, coachings, yet neither my career aspirations or relationship pursuits have borne any fruit whatsoever.It's as if these things are only pipe dreams.I've gotten out there and pursued them and at 35 have nothing to show for it.
There's something inside that says it is starting with me, and I blame myself for it, and I don't understand what it is.
Is there anyone psychic or clairvoyant who can at least pick up on what it may be?I'm constantly called annoying, needy, "extra" – and yet I'm only being myself.I'm "thirsty," dwell on things too much, this is what people say.I've not listened to them and always gone ahead and knocked that friggin critic off my shoulder and done things that I want to do.Yet, when I pursue someone, people say "that's silly" – why are you doing that… and they're in relationships and date a gazillion people and they have no problem finding anyone at all.
I'm also rather attractive and the only attention I get is via casual sex with anonymous people (I'm gay).I have never ever been able to hold anyone's interest from my music talents, my intelligence, my sense of humor, they only go for how "hot" I look, for the moment, and I see them mostly just once or twice and that's it.I go for that because that's what I can get.I try to date and give out my number and in every case, no one has ever called from a card I've given out with my number.People may say "you're too hard on yourself" or "you're too eager" – but IF YOU DON'T TRY AND KEEP PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE, THINGS DON'T JUST LAND IN YOUR LAP.I don't believe in the whole "just stop looking" thing – because for about a year or 2, I stopped looking completely and I only had random sex once in a while… I literally worked and went home, that was it.Didn't hang out with friends or family or anything.I took walks by myself.And nobody showed up – so so much for the "just stop looking" bulls*it.
Answers:
You are unwilling to listen to advice. It's true that if you come on too strong and also, be very self absorbed (you seem to be) people will run from you. High maintenance is what I call it and people just don't like it. Also the fact that you are gay makes it even harder to find a lasting relationship as many gay men enjoy the 'hit and run' kind of sex. You also seem a bit conceited and that chases people away.
Basically though, you are too intense, so the people who told you to relax and don't be too eager are right. It's just that I don't think you understand exactly how to strike the balance you need.
In your case, I would recommend a counselor to talk through some of your problems. A gay one if you can find one like that. He would understand a lot better.
Psychically speaking I pick up from you an extreme intensity and self absorption that frankly, I would run from too. Chill out and see a counselor. You have work to do on yourself before you can be half of a couple!
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